Taking the white man-boy seriously

March 15, 2013
By

By Kyle Kusz

The white man-boy is the most important cultural figure in America today.

Hyperbole?  Maybe.

But, allow me to make a case that the ‘white man-boy industrial complex’ is producing ways of being and knowing the world, particularly for white men, that threaten the social interests (if not rights) of women and people of color in contemporary American culture and little critical attention is being given to this phenomenon.

What do I mean by ‘the white man-boy industrial complex’?

I mean the lucrative constellation of industries that produce movies, television shows, music, books, magazines, advertising, and a range of other products that have made popular the idea that white guys today are refusing to grow up, retreating to fratriarchal spaces and ‘man caves,’ reviving racist and sexist humor with irony, and seeking liberation from women they imagine as trying to castrate them (usually metaphorically).

The white man-boy market was initially a niche, but now must be seen as defining ‘the mainstream.’  The white man-boy industrial complex sells its wares to white men of various social classes.  Socialized around the idea that masculinity is a style performed through conspicuous consumption, these men range in age from awkward teens, to twentysomethings who may imagine themselves caught up in a quarterlife crisis, to thirty- and fortysomethings who may be trying to ironically hold onto their youths while denying that that is what they’re up to.

One doesn’t need to look long or hard for evidence for the prominence of the man-boy in contemporary American popular culture.

Think of films like Old School, The 40 Year-old Virgin, Knocked Up, Step Brothers, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Dodgeball, or Ted, that more than a few white men of Generations X and Y can recite scenes or quotes from memory.  (Just ask them, I’m sure their eyes will light up with delight!).

I should note that many of these same films are selected by programmers for re-circulation via (white) male niche media like Spike TV and FX (among other cable networks).  Thus, the man-boy industrial complex enables these films to be repeatedly watched (let us not forget the availability of Netflix and DVDs for this consumer group!), memorized, and emulated by more than a few American white guys today.

And we have not even mentioned the abundance of original television programming from the past decade like Two and Half Men, Scrubs, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, The League, Workaholics, and even House M.D. and Mad Men (among countless others), that features white man-boys of various stripes.

But, perhaps it is the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences’ recent decision (debacle?) to imagine Seth MacFarlane as a suitable host of the Oscars that drove home for me the way in which ‘the man-boy arts’ have expanded beyond a few ‘edgy’ niche movies and TV shows to become a central spoke in this historical moment’s definition of the American normative.

While these man-boys surely aren’t new to post-9/11 America, 2004 saw its hegemonic ascendance within American popular culture.  In so doing, it regularly circulates a stream of retrograde ideas about race and gender that are significantly shaping the world views of coming of age and aging American white men from white collar types to service workers to the under- and unemployed.

Relatedly, it is offering American white men across generations what Raymond Williams might call a ‘structure of feeling’ about how to be a white man that disciplines their bodies to find pleasure, at worst, in explicit forms of misogyny and white supremacy (often packaged as ironic humor), and at best in soft forms of essentialist ideas about gender and race that refabricate gender and racial segregations on screen and in everyday life — as the line between man-boy productions and social realities always seems to be blurred (at the very least, think of the Jackass crew).

And, at least in my view, progressives do not seem to be recognizing the deleterious effects of the rise to prominence of this industry.

One need only read Kay S. Hymowitz’s Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys or Guy Garcia’s The Decline of Men: How the American Male is Tuning Out, Giving Up, and Flipping Off His Future to see how the man-boy is being employed by social conservatives in post-9/11 America to renew assaults on feminism and the women’s movement and to advance tired narratives about ‘white men being in crisis’ or ‘the feminization of American culture and society’

While not wanting to advance the overly simplistic notion that all young white men are imitating the behaviors exemplified by the white man-boys one might find in a Judd Apatow film, I do want to offer two stories of young white men.  The observations from my classes at a state university illuminate how this man-boy industrial complex has, in differing ways, effectively delimited the sort of man they can reasonably imagine being or becoming in their lives.

The first student I will call “Tommy.”

***

I first met Tommy in a class I teach about gender issues in sports and society.  The class, like so many undergraduate classes of this sort, simply seeks to teach students some basic tenets of feminist theory and to raise students’ consciousness about how gender matters for women and men alike in sports and beyond.

In a class with ‘gender issues’ in the title, one would expect to read a healthy dose of academic research that uses feminist theory to interpret the world, right?  Yet, in the second or third week of classes, Tommy decided to interrupt (or perhaps the better descriptor would be: to disrupt) a class discussion by exclaiming from the back row, “Hey!  When are we going to be done reading all this feminist crap?”

Utterly shocked, I did not know how to respond.

Feeling as though my feminist bona fides were being challenged, I sarcastically responded, “Are you serious?  How could you sign up for a class on gender and not expect to read about feminist theory?”

Looking back, it was probably not one of my best moments as a professor.  But as a white guy standing at the front of a classroom filled with a majority of women, I also didn’t want him to think that I would condone such dismissive and derogatory comments.

Nonetheless, over the next two weeks, class devolved into a confrontation between the two of us.  As I attempted to highlight the complex ways gender politics shaped various sporting cultures in the past and present, Tommy proceeded to vociferously refute every idea that did not conform to his worldview.

Often his objections drew upon ideas and logics straight from ‘the man-boy industrial complex.’

He spoke of his fascination with the film, Fight Club.  He seemed to believe that muscle mass was positively correlated with the amount of respect and status a man gets within the most important group in the world—his ‘bros.’ Like far too many of my white male students (as well as more than a few white women in the class), many of whom come from middle and working class positions, Tommy was a daily reader of a website called, ‘barstoolsports.com,’ which offers daily doses of sexually objectified women and angst-ridden diatribes bemoaning such things as the ‘pussification of America.’

A week later, while still optimistically believing I could convince Tommy that white men weren’t losing social power if I only presented him with the right argument and/or evidence, our discussion boiled over into the hallway after class ended.  Flanked by two of his buddies, who were trying hard to walk a tightrope of appearing open-minded to me while maintaining their ‘bro’ stature with him, Tommy said he would only continue to talk with me if we spoke not as ‘professor’ and ‘student,’ but as two ‘men.’

Although again momentarily shocked, this time, his comment obviously made sense.

And minutes later, just as I thought I was removing his mask of masculinity with a miraculous breakthrough that could result in a transformation of his world view (think, Dead Poets Society), Tommy grew quiet in the midst of one of my monologues.

I still remember seeing his eyes beginning to well up and trying to soften the tone and force of my words.

And just then, without a word, he abruptly walked away.

His friends told me they thought he was going to hit me.

Tommy never spoke up again in class.

***

The second student I want to discuss I will call “Ethan.”

Ethan is an excellent student.  He went to a private school and will admit to coming from an upper middle-class family.  At quick glance, he might appear as the guy that seems to have it all—rugged good looks, athleticism, smarts, good manners, and is well-spoken.  The kind of guy who would charm grandma in one breath and then do a keg-stand in the backyard when she’s not looking.  Though he may have the look of your run-of-the-mill frat guy, as I came to discover, his story was a bit more complex.

I met Ethan in another class that focuses on the ways white power and privilege shape sports media narratives.  Ethan never said much in class.  But, by midterm, he was staying after class at least once a week, often for about an hour at a time.  He spoke with me about how the class was giving him a new language to make sense of, and speak about, some of his past and present experiences.

In one of our rambling conversations, I mentioned something about how sport films starring Will Ferrell were recirculating some pretty retrogressive ideas about white men, people of color, and women.  Ethan then divulged that he and his friends loved some of Ferrell’s films.  Ethan told me they would often watch Anchorman as a pre-party ritual, mining it for language and masculine performance to use later on in the night.

Later, he even confided that status with his ‘bros’ was determined by one’s ability to successfully hook up with ‘the ladies.’  And, as is so often the case in these sorts of fraternal groups, he had realized that telling the story afterwards to the ‘bros’ was as important as the act itself.

But interestingly, Ethan also told me about how he and his bros talk regularly about the guilt they feel from this ‘bro’ practice of loving and leaving women each weekend.  Yet, they still continue to do it.

Recently, Ethan confided that he has begun a relationship with a girl that he really likes.  He recognizes how this relationship is compromising his status with ‘the boys.’  He’s a little bothered by this.  It doesn’t quite feel right with him.  But, he knows he doesn’t want to be a ‘bro’ for the rest of his life either.

In our conversations, we have discussed how he is struggling because he can’t seem to imagine another way of being a man that feels ‘right’ to him.

And this is the measure of the hegemony of the man-boy industrial complex in post-9/11 America…they can’t even imagine an alternative…

***

In the spirit creating situated knowledges, I feel it necessary to disclose my own conflicted relationship with this man-boy industrial complex.

As some may have perhaps guessed by this time, I’m a newly-minted 40-something who—no joke–is writing this essay in a Starbucks while wearing my Buddy Holly-styled specs and my multi-colored and ‘one-of-a-kind’ New Balance runners.  And I even drove here in my ‘quirky’ Nissan Cube.

Yes, I must even admit that I put off getting married and having kids until my late 30s.  I am also guilty of using words like ‘adulty’ when I recognize that I’m occupying my father’s shadow or losing my fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants lifestyle in the face of my new responsibilities of family, work, and mortgage.

And although my devoutly feminist wife might tell you otherwise, that’s kind of where my stereotypical man-boy-ness ends…I think.

I mean, I don’t have a man-cave.  I don’t spend hours or entire weekends playing video games.  And one of the main reasons I put off marriage and having kids so long was because I struggled to become an academic and to feel economically safe and secure in my own life.

I offer this admission to illustrate the point that serious efforts to understand the cultural politics of the man-boy industrial complex must take into consideration a few things.

They must keep in mind that the ways individual white men make sense of, and appropriate the language and logics of the man-boy arts are always complex and complicated and can’t be summed up in a singular explanation.  This is true of Tommy, Ethan, and myself.

Second, they must situate the coming to prominence of the man-boy in the post-9/11 moment, a time marked by a renewed effort to re-masculinize American men and to promote the illusion that contemporary America is ‘beyond race.’

Finally, they must recognize the man-boy less as a sociological reality that can be apprehended via surveys, interviews, ethnographies, or biosketches, and more as a simulacrum—a copy for which there is no original—that more importantly operates to discipline the attitudes, affective investments, and social practices and relations largely of white, middle class men of the X and Y generations in socially conservative, if not reactionary, ways.

If progressives are interested in getting more white men from service and even white collar jobs to participate in struggles for women’s rights or for demanding a living wage in an economic moment so ripe for mass public dissent, then they would be well served to consider the need to develop alternative models of white masculinity that will trump the affective appeal of those currently on offer within the man-boy industrial complex.

__________________________________________

photoKyle Kusz is Associate Professor of Physical Cultural Studies in the Department of Kinesiology at the University of Rhode Island.  He is the author of Revolt of the White Athlete: Race, Media, and the Emergence of Extreme Athletes in America (Peter Lang, 2007).  Broadly speaking, his research illuminates the key, yet often overlooked role that sports media play in shaping contemporary cultural politics.  More specifically, his work illuminates the various kaleidoscopic representational strategies and logics used in the last 25 years to reproduce white masculinity as centered and normative in American popular culture.  For example, he has critically examined the cultural politics of various sport-related films of the last 20 years (Jerry Maguire, Fight Club, Dogtown and Z Boys, among others), as well as, interrogated how media stories about sport celebrities like Lance Armstrong, Pat Tillman and Andre Agassi are important sites involved in making particular ideas about whiteness and masculinity into public forms of ‘common sense’ in particular historical conjunctures.

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60 Responses to Taking the white man-boy seriously

  1. Hashim on March 15, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    This is awesome. I knew when I was in high school and saw the preview for “Knocked Up” that something staunch was in the cultural air. It was bizarre humor to me and made me very uncomfortable because it seemed so surface on purpose and so overly accessorized at the same time. These were hippy-esque white guys who are in every way, unproductive as citizens, but it was an instinct to joke about this unproductivity and then show it off. That looked like privilege to me. The way that this white man-boy complex functions economically for America and white men I am interested in. What is it allowing to be pumped out, manufactured and for whose gain? Because of course, there is someone making a whole lot of money off of this.

  2. Hashim on March 15, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    This is awesome. I knew when I was in high school and saw the preview for “Knocked Up” that something staunch was in the cultural air. It was bizarre humor to me and made me very uncomfortable because it seemed so surface on purpose and so overly accessorized at the same time. These were hippy-esque white guys who are in every way, unproductive as citizens, but it was an instinct to joke about this unproductivity and then show it off. That looked like privilege to me. The way that this white man-boy complex functions economically for America and white men I am interested in. What is it allowing to be pumped out, manufactured and for whose gain? Because of course, there is someone making a whole lot of money off of this.

  3. Hashim on March 15, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    This is awesome. I knew when I was in high school and saw the preview for “Knocked Up” that something staunch was in the cultural air. It was bizarre humor to me and made me very uncomfortable because it seemed so surface on purpose and so overly accessorized at the same time. These were hippy-esque white guys who are in every way, unproductive as citizens, but it was an instinct to joke about this unproductivity and then show it off. That looked like privilege to me. The way that this white man-boy complex functions economically for America and white men I am interested in. What is it allowing to be pumped out, manufactured and for whose gain? Because of course, there is someone making a whole lot of money off of this.

  4. Hashim on March 15, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    This is awesome. I knew when I was in high school and saw the preview for “Knocked Up” that something staunch was in the cultural air. It was bizarre humor to me and made me very uncomfortable because it seemed so surface on purpose and so overly accessorized at the same time. These were hippy-esque white guys who are in every way, unproductive as citizens, but it was an instinct to joke about this unproductivity and then show it off. That looked like privilege to me. The way that this white man-boy complex functions economically for America and white men I am interested in. What is it allowing to be pumped out, manufactured and for whose gain? Because of course, there is someone making a whole lot of money off of this.

  5. Colin on March 15, 2013 at 3:53 pm

    I really enjoyed this article! It’s very well-written, and it puts a lot of my own half-formed ideas and observations into a framework.

  6. Colin on March 15, 2013 at 3:53 pm

    I really enjoyed this article! It’s very well-written, and it puts a lot of my own half-formed ideas and observations into a framework.

  7. Colin on March 15, 2013 at 3:53 pm

    I really enjoyed this article! It’s very well-written, and it puts a lot of my own half-formed ideas and observations into a framework.

  8. Colin on March 15, 2013 at 3:53 pm

    I really enjoyed this article! It’s very well-written, and it puts a lot of my own half-formed ideas and observations into a framework.

  9. sc on March 15, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    how is this any different from any other post-WWII time? the people you are calling “man-boys” who spend their times playing video games and eating doritos were once called “bachelors”, who went to the dog track and smoked cigars and possibly read Playboy if they fancied themselves metropolitan.

    why do you even include that apologetic about putting off getting married and having kids? this is 2013 – even if you were hella ready to settle down and have kids at 26, you’d be hard-pressed to find a woman of your educational level and socioeconomic class who was going to join you in that venture.

  10. sc on March 15, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    how is this any different from any other post-WWII time? the people you are calling “man-boys” who spend their times playing video games and eating doritos were once called “bachelors”, who went to the dog track and smoked cigars and possibly read Playboy if they fancied themselves metropolitan.

    why do you even include that apologetic about putting off getting married and having kids? this is 2013 – even if you were hella ready to settle down and have kids at 26, you’d be hard-pressed to find a woman of your educational level and socioeconomic class who was going to join you in that venture.

  11. sc on March 15, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    how is this any different from any other post-WWII time? the people you are calling “man-boys” who spend their times playing video games and eating doritos were once called “bachelors”, who went to the dog track and smoked cigars and possibly read Playboy if they fancied themselves metropolitan.

    why do you even include that apologetic about putting off getting married and having kids? this is 2013 – even if you were hella ready to settle down and have kids at 26, you’d be hard-pressed to find a woman of your educational level and socioeconomic class who was going to join you in that venture.

  12. sc on March 15, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    how is this any different from any other post-WWII time? the people you are calling “man-boys” who spend their times playing video games and eating doritos were once called “bachelors”, who went to the dog track and smoked cigars and possibly read Playboy if they fancied themselves metropolitan.

    why do you even include that apologetic about putting off getting married and having kids? this is 2013 – even if you were hella ready to settle down and have kids at 26, you’d be hard-pressed to find a woman of your educational level and socioeconomic class who was going to join you in that venture.

  13. Tedankhamen on March 15, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    Nice. Explains a lot of how I tick AND the things that tic me off. Strange internal dichotomy.

    Also, weirdly enough relevant to my dissertation on US-Japan relations…

  14. Tedankhamen on March 15, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    Nice. Explains a lot of how I tick AND the things that tic me off. Strange internal dichotomy.

    Also, weirdly enough relevant to my dissertation on US-Japan relations…

  15. Tedankhamen on March 15, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    Nice. Explains a lot of how I tick AND the things that tic me off. Strange internal dichotomy.

    Also, weirdly enough relevant to my dissertation on US-Japan relations…

  16. Tedankhamen on March 15, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    Nice. Explains a lot of how I tick AND the things that tic me off. Strange internal dichotomy.

    Also, weirdly enough relevant to my dissertation on US-Japan relations…

  17. Arlene R Keizer on March 16, 2013 at 3:01 am

    I really appreciate this article. For several years I’ve been challenging my students to identify adult male characters from TV and films that are neither vigilantes nor law-enforcement personnel. It’s a project that’s getting more and more difficult every year. The “man-boy” is everywhere, whereas the adult men depicted are usually exacting revenge or violently disciplining other people’s bodies.

    • miaokuancha on March 17, 2013 at 4:35 am

      Word.

  18. Arlene R Keizer on March 16, 2013 at 3:01 am

    I really appreciate this article. For several years I’ve been challenging my students to identify adult male characters from TV and films that are neither vigilantes nor law-enforcement personnel. It’s a project that’s getting more and more difficult every year. The “man-boy” is everywhere, whereas the adult men depicted are usually exacting revenge or violently disciplining other people’s bodies.

    • miaokuancha on March 17, 2013 at 4:35 am

      Word.

  19. Arlene R Keizer on March 16, 2013 at 3:01 am

    I really appreciate this article. For several years I’ve been challenging my students to identify adult male characters from TV and films that are neither vigilantes nor law-enforcement personnel. It’s a project that’s getting more and more difficult every year. The “man-boy” is everywhere, whereas the adult men depicted are usually exacting revenge or violently disciplining other people’s bodies.

    • miaokuancha on March 17, 2013 at 4:35 am

      Word.

  20. Arlene R Keizer on March 16, 2013 at 3:01 am

    I really appreciate this article. For several years I’ve been challenging my students to identify adult male characters from TV and films that are neither vigilantes nor law-enforcement personnel. It’s a project that’s getting more and more difficult every year. The “man-boy” is everywhere, whereas the adult men depicted are usually exacting revenge or violently disciplining other people’s bodies.

    • miaokuancha on March 17, 2013 at 4:35 am

      Word.

  21. MaxM on March 16, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    As a guy who’s teens coincided with these kinds of movies, I think a big part of this archetype’s new success is that it explicitly pushed a model for guys to be openly affectionate with eachother. That’s one of the main things I see that the Apatow movies projected out there, with guy friends hugging each other and saying how much they love eachother. I feel like that element was missing from earlier frathouse movies, and giving guys that desperately-needed outlet has made the whole culture easier to sell as a whole (though license to be a self-absorbed privileged twit has always been attractive enough on its own)

  22. MaxM on March 16, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    As a guy who’s teens coincided with these kinds of movies, I think a big part of this archetype’s new success is that it explicitly pushed a model for guys to be openly affectionate with eachother. That’s one of the main things I see that the Apatow movies projected out there, with guy friends hugging each other and saying how much they love eachother. I feel like that element was missing from earlier frathouse movies, and giving guys that desperately-needed outlet has made the whole culture easier to sell as a whole (though license to be a self-absorbed privileged twit has always been attractive enough on its own)

  23. MaxM on March 16, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    As a guy who’s teens coincided with these kinds of movies, I think a big part of this archetype’s new success is that it explicitly pushed a model for guys to be openly affectionate with eachother. That’s one of the main things I see that the Apatow movies projected out there, with guy friends hugging each other and saying how much they love eachother. I feel like that element was missing from earlier frathouse movies, and giving guys that desperately-needed outlet has made the whole culture easier to sell as a whole (though license to be a self-absorbed privileged twit has always been attractive enough on its own)

  24. MaxM on March 16, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    As a guy who’s teens coincided with these kinds of movies, I think a big part of this archetype’s new success is that it explicitly pushed a model for guys to be openly affectionate with eachother. That’s one of the main things I see that the Apatow movies projected out there, with guy friends hugging each other and saying how much they love eachother. I feel like that element was missing from earlier frathouse movies, and giving guys that desperately-needed outlet has made the whole culture easier to sell as a whole (though license to be a self-absorbed privileged twit has always been attractive enough on its own)

  25. MrPenisFace on March 16, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    Significant strain has been placed on my relationship by the fact that my girlfriend loves those ignorant movies so much. She has begun to question the virility of her bookish boyfriend, who keeps asking her to turn the volume down while he tries to read post-structuralist feminist histories. She calls me a dork when I use “Problematic” and “Normative” as nouns at the end of sentences. The schematic heuristic (double substantive adjective whammy, dude)substrate of this article produces a rigid narrative in which it is only possible for her to be the passive victim of the retrogressive humors that I have internalized from my alleged obsession with these movies, thus rendering the author an agent of the very essentialism he believes himself to be railing against. Resistance is conservative. ha ha irony. i learned it from will ferrel

  26. MrPenisFace on March 16, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    Significant strain has been placed on my relationship by the fact that my girlfriend loves those ignorant movies so much. She has begun to question the virility of her bookish boyfriend, who keeps asking her to turn the volume down while he tries to read post-structuralist feminist histories. She calls me a dork when I use “Problematic” and “Normative” as nouns at the end of sentences. The schematic heuristic (double substantive adjective whammy, dude)substrate of this article produces a rigid narrative in which it is only possible for her to be the passive victim of the retrogressive humors that I have internalized from my alleged obsession with these movies, thus rendering the author an agent of the very essentialism he believes himself to be railing against. Resistance is conservative. ha ha irony. i learned it from will ferrel

  27. MrPenisFace on March 16, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    Significant strain has been placed on my relationship by the fact that my girlfriend loves those ignorant movies so much. She has begun to question the virility of her bookish boyfriend, who keeps asking her to turn the volume down while he tries to read post-structuralist feminist histories. She calls me a dork when I use “Problematic” and “Normative” as nouns at the end of sentences. The schematic heuristic (double substantive adjective whammy, dude)substrate of this article produces a rigid narrative in which it is only possible for her to be the passive victim of the retrogressive humors that I have internalized from my alleged obsession with these movies, thus rendering the author an agent of the very essentialism he believes himself to be railing against. Resistance is conservative. ha ha irony. i learned it from will ferrel

  28. MrPenisFace on March 16, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    Significant strain has been placed on my relationship by the fact that my girlfriend loves those ignorant movies so much. She has begun to question the virility of her bookish boyfriend, who keeps asking her to turn the volume down while he tries to read post-structuralist feminist histories. She calls me a dork when I use “Problematic” and “Normative” as nouns at the end of sentences. The schematic heuristic (double substantive adjective whammy, dude)substrate of this article produces a rigid narrative in which it is only possible for her to be the passive victim of the retrogressive humors that I have internalized from my alleged obsession with these movies, thus rendering the author an agent of the very essentialism he believes himself to be railing against. Resistance is conservative. ha ha irony. i learned it from will ferrel

  29. Grayrain on March 17, 2013 at 11:46 am

    Great article.

    I think the problem is about an inability to become an individual. Men (and women) are almost seemingly wired to follow a stereotype of themselves that is dictated by the larger society, or genes, or what not. If they can’t follow the stereotype, no matter how silly or hateful it may be, the don’t feel that they’re a “real man” or “real woman.”

    When people start to escape that, and show more individuality, they’ll be labeled as something derogatory. I think what you’re seeing now is a transition period in some parts of society – masculinity and femininity are giving way to individuality. Individuals are difficult to control and deal with. The man-boy complex is something of a last dying breath of a patriarchy in order to zap that individuality.

    On the female side, I think there is a woman-girl industry as well. IE., stay codependent, dress like a child, etc. My family is from the other side of the world, and when we view women here, it’s sometimes like looking at organized, psuedo-paedeophelia. You have large, bulky men trying to pick up the skinniest, smallest, youngest looking woman.

    And if the woman doesn’t fit into that subservient, child-like role, then they must be evil to the man-boy complex.

  30. Grayrain on March 17, 2013 at 11:46 am

    Great article.

    I think the problem is about an inability to become an individual. Men (and women) are almost seemingly wired to follow a stereotype of themselves that is dictated by the larger society, or genes, or what not. If they can’t follow the stereotype, no matter how silly or hateful it may be, the don’t feel that they’re a “real man” or “real woman.”

    When people start to escape that, and show more individuality, they’ll be labeled as something derogatory. I think what you’re seeing now is a transition period in some parts of society – masculinity and femininity are giving way to individuality. Individuals are difficult to control and deal with. The man-boy complex is something of a last dying breath of a patriarchy in order to zap that individuality.

    On the female side, I think there is a woman-girl industry as well. IE., stay codependent, dress like a child, etc. My family is from the other side of the world, and when we view women here, it’s sometimes like looking at organized, psuedo-paedeophelia. You have large, bulky men trying to pick up the skinniest, smallest, youngest looking woman.

    And if the woman doesn’t fit into that subservient, child-like role, then they must be evil to the man-boy complex.

  31. Grayrain on March 17, 2013 at 11:46 am

    Great article.

    I think the problem is about an inability to become an individual. Men (and women) are almost seemingly wired to follow a stereotype of themselves that is dictated by the larger society, or genes, or what not. If they can’t follow the stereotype, no matter how silly or hateful it may be, the don’t feel that they’re a “real man” or “real woman.”

    When people start to escape that, and show more individuality, they’ll be labeled as something derogatory. I think what you’re seeing now is a transition period in some parts of society – masculinity and femininity are giving way to individuality. Individuals are difficult to control and deal with. The man-boy complex is something of a last dying breath of a patriarchy in order to zap that individuality.

    On the female side, I think there is a woman-girl industry as well. IE., stay codependent, dress like a child, etc. My family is from the other side of the world, and when we view women here, it’s sometimes like looking at organized, psuedo-paedeophelia. You have large, bulky men trying to pick up the skinniest, smallest, youngest looking woman.

    And if the woman doesn’t fit into that subservient, child-like role, then they must be evil to the man-boy complex.

  32. Grayrain on March 17, 2013 at 11:46 am

    Great article.

    I think the problem is about an inability to become an individual. Men (and women) are almost seemingly wired to follow a stereotype of themselves that is dictated by the larger society, or genes, or what not. If they can’t follow the stereotype, no matter how silly or hateful it may be, the don’t feel that they’re a “real man” or “real woman.”

    When people start to escape that, and show more individuality, they’ll be labeled as something derogatory. I think what you’re seeing now is a transition period in some parts of society – masculinity and femininity are giving way to individuality. Individuals are difficult to control and deal with. The man-boy complex is something of a last dying breath of a patriarchy in order to zap that individuality.

    On the female side, I think there is a woman-girl industry as well. IE., stay codependent, dress like a child, etc. My family is from the other side of the world, and when we view women here, it’s sometimes like looking at organized, psuedo-paedeophelia. You have large, bulky men trying to pick up the skinniest, smallest, youngest looking woman.

    And if the woman doesn’t fit into that subservient, child-like role, then they must be evil to the man-boy complex.

  33. TheClonusHorror on March 17, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    Please tell me you crushed an empty beer can upon your forehead in celebration after completing this article! :D

  34. TheClonusHorror on March 17, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    Please tell me you crushed an empty beer can upon your forehead in celebration after completing this article! :D

  35. TheClonusHorror on March 17, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    Please tell me you crushed an empty beer can upon your forehead in celebration after completing this article! :D

  36. TheClonusHorror on March 17, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    Please tell me you crushed an empty beer can upon your forehead in celebration after completing this article! :D

  37. Sampso n on March 18, 2013 at 12:27 am

    Very good article. As mid-20′s guy, I see this dynamic playing out constantly in my friends’ lives as well as my own. I have a very hard time thinking of many men my age (26) who have fully committed to adulthood (ie no more keg stands or jager bombs).

    However, as someone with a lot of minority friends, I fail to see this as a “white” man-boy complex. And the article never actually mentioned race at all. What part of the “man-boy complex” doesn’t apply to other races?

  38. Sampso n on March 18, 2013 at 12:27 am

    Very good article. As mid-20′s guy, I see this dynamic playing out constantly in my friends’ lives as well as my own. I have a very hard time thinking of many men my age (26) who have fully committed to adulthood (ie no more keg stands or jager bombs).

    However, as someone with a lot of minority friends, I fail to see this as a “white” man-boy complex. And the article never actually mentioned race at all. What part of the “man-boy complex” doesn’t apply to other races?

  39. Sampso n on March 18, 2013 at 12:27 am

    Very good article. As mid-20′s guy, I see this dynamic playing out constantly in my friends’ lives as well as my own. I have a very hard time thinking of many men my age (26) who have fully committed to adulthood (ie no more keg stands or jager bombs).

    However, as someone with a lot of minority friends, I fail to see this as a “white” man-boy complex. And the article never actually mentioned race at all. What part of the “man-boy complex” doesn’t apply to other races?

  40. Sampso n on March 18, 2013 at 12:27 am

    Very good article. As mid-20′s guy, I see this dynamic playing out constantly in my friends’ lives as well as my own. I have a very hard time thinking of many men my age (26) who have fully committed to adulthood (ie no more keg stands or jager bombs).

    However, as someone with a lot of minority friends, I fail to see this as a “white” man-boy complex. And the article never actually mentioned race at all. What part of the “man-boy complex” doesn’t apply to other races?

  41. laura on March 18, 2013 at 11:04 am

    I’m curious- what were your female students doing during the semester-long debate between you and Chad?

  42. laura on March 18, 2013 at 11:04 am

    I’m curious- what were your female students doing during the semester-long debate between you and Chad?

  43. laura on March 18, 2013 at 11:04 am

    I’m curious- what were your female students doing during the semester-long debate between you and Chad?

  44. laura on March 18, 2013 at 11:04 am

    I’m curious- what were your female students doing during the semester-long debate between you and Chad?

  45. Cheryl on March 18, 2013 at 12:50 pm

    I wonder if the writer is aware of the irony that his class about basic feminist theory, which was made up of predominantly women students, “devolved into a confrontation between the two of us [white, heterosexual, men]“. Hence, he and this one student, as white men, dominated that space. Good job, professor!

    But I do appreciate the intent of this piece, and some great points are made.

    • E on March 21, 2013 at 12:23 am

      Agreed!

      And yes, good intent and well-written article. I do, however, see a need for a deeper self-analysis on the author’s part (he’s ALMOST there).

      Also, directly addressing race in relation to the ‘white man-boy industrial complex’ is needed.

  46. Cheryl on March 18, 2013 at 12:50 pm

    I wonder if the writer is aware of the irony that his class about basic feminist theory, which was made up of predominantly women students, “devolved into a confrontation between the two of us [white, heterosexual, men]“. Hence, he and this one student, as white men, dominated that space. Good job, professor!

    But I do appreciate the intent of this piece, and some great points are made.

    • E on March 21, 2013 at 12:23 am

      Agreed!

      And yes, good intent and well-written article. I do, however, see a need for a deeper self-analysis on the author’s part (he’s ALMOST there).

      Also, directly addressing race in relation to the ‘white man-boy industrial complex’ is needed.

  47. Cheryl on March 18, 2013 at 12:50 pm

    I wonder if the writer is aware of the irony that his class about basic feminist theory, which was made up of predominantly women students, “devolved into a confrontation between the two of us [white, heterosexual, men]“. Hence, he and this one student, as white men, dominated that space. Good job, professor!

    But I do appreciate the intent of this piece, and some great points are made.

    • E on March 21, 2013 at 12:23 am

      Agreed!

      And yes, good intent and well-written article. I do, however, see a need for a deeper self-analysis on the author’s part (he’s ALMOST there).

      Also, directly addressing race in relation to the ‘white man-boy industrial complex’ is needed.

  48. Cheryl on March 18, 2013 at 12:50 pm

    I wonder if the writer is aware of the irony that his class about basic feminist theory, which was made up of predominantly women students, “devolved into a confrontation between the two of us [white, heterosexual, men]“. Hence, he and this one student, as white men, dominated that space. Good job, professor!

    But I do appreciate the intent of this piece, and some great points are made.

    • E on March 21, 2013 at 12:23 am

      Agreed!

      And yes, good intent and well-written article. I do, however, see a need for a deeper self-analysis on the author’s part (he’s ALMOST there).

      Also, directly addressing race in relation to the ‘white man-boy industrial complex’ is needed.

  49. EJD on March 21, 2013 at 1:02 am

    Irony is a man shaming other men for their gender performativity, while demanding they man up, stop enjoying themselves, get married, and support a wife and baby. Yet another of the Kimmel-esque “Men born after me are terrible” brigade.

  50. EJD on March 21, 2013 at 1:02 am

    Irony is a man shaming other men for their gender performativity, while demanding they man up, stop enjoying themselves, get married, and support a wife and baby. Yet another of the Kimmel-esque “Men born after me are terrible” brigade.

  51. EJD on March 21, 2013 at 1:02 am

    Irony is a man shaming other men for their gender performativity, while demanding they man up, stop enjoying themselves, get married, and support a wife and baby. Yet another of the Kimmel-esque “Men born after me are terrible” brigade.

  52. EJD on March 21, 2013 at 1:02 am

    Irony is a man shaming other men for their gender performativity, while demanding they man up, stop enjoying themselves, get married, and support a wife and baby. Yet another of the Kimmel-esque “Men born after me are terrible” brigade.

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